It’s that time of year again where we all pretend to devise a plan to change ourselves for the better because of an arbitrary date on a calendar! New Year New Me, amirite!?

Of course I’m just kidding, well kind of. How many times have you made a New Years Resolution to change something in your life, only to slip back into old habits a few weeks into the year? It’s the same thing every year, that “new year, new me!” thought process that gets us revved up to change our lives only to back off once things get real. Why is this and how can we combat that? Glad you asked because that’s exactly what we’re going to be going over today! So sit back and take notes because this year is ACTUALLY GOING TO BE DIFFERENT! Just follow these rules and you’ll be well on your way to making all the changes to better your position in life!

The First Step

Before we get started with these rules for bettering ourselves, let’s talk about that first step. The first step in any journey is deciding to make a change. Now this change could be a financial one, a relationship one, a personal attitude one, a physical one; the possibilities are literally endless. Deciding to make a change is step number one in the process to a new you! Now this is where it gets tricky: is this change something you sorta want/will get around to kind of change, or a “I can’t live my life for another second this way” kind of change? This thought process matters SO MUCH! For now I’m going to go out on a limb and say for the majority of you it’s somewhere in-between those two levels of urgency because if it were something incredibly important to you, you would have already started it. And that’s OK!

There’s nothing wrong with that level of urgency when it comes to making a change, but it will absolutely test your resolve throughout the process. It’s just significantly harder when it’s not a must, and just a want. They say that dedication is sticking with a goal when things get rough, and trust me things will get rough when it comes to making monumental changes in your life! You’ll possibly lose friends or partners, it will cost you money and time, you’ll have to change parts of your routines, it’ll test you mentally/emotionally/physically, and you’ll have to give up things/people in your life along the way in order to accomplish these goals. Understand this and prepare yourself for this before starting your journey to a better you!

“Failure to prepare is preparing for failure” - Benjamin Franklin

Rule Number 1 - Define it!

DEFINE WHAT YOUR GOAL MEANS! It’s in all caps because I cannot stress this enough. Your goal can’t be vague, it needs to be specific. Some examples of goals that you’ll fail before you ever get started are:

• I want to get into shape

• I want to save more money

• I want to eat better

• I want to drive less and walk more

• I want to be more social and less introverted

• I want to drink less

• I’m going to run more

• I want to grow my business this year

The above goals are great ones to have and pretty typical amongst people’s resolutions, but they don’t really mean anything. What is “better shape”? What does “save more money” mean? These goals aren’t specific enough which means a few things. For one you never know when you accomplish this goal. And secondly it allows you to jump ship at any point in the process before you reach the end. If it’s not clearly defined, you’ll never know when you get there. If your goal is to get into better shape, losing 5 lbs is technically accomplishing said goal but that’s not what you’re looking for, you’re looking for REAL change! Try to narrow down what you’re looking to do, having a concrete goal will give you the ability to create a roadmap that helps get you to where you want to go! Here’s a better way to define your goals:

• I want to get into shape

  • I want to lose x lbs

  • I want to increase my bench press by x amount of lbs

  • I want to get my body fat % to x

• I want to save more money

  • I want to save x amount per paycheck

  • I want to have x amount in my savings by years end

• I want to eat better

  • I’m going to cook at home so I can control what I’m eating and know what’s in it

  • I’m going to stop ordering take out

  • I’m going to cut out sugar from my diet

• I want to drive less and walk more

  • I’m going to walk to the grocery store

  • I’m going to walk to work

  • When I go to my friend’s place for game night Saturday, I’m going to walk

• I want to be more social and less introverted

  • I’m going to strike up conversation with x amount of strangers in public every week

  • I’m going to attempt to make one new friend per week

• I want to drink less

  • I’m not going to drink during the week

  • I’m only going to have one beer with dinner

  • I’m going to get sober

• I’m going to run more

  • I’m going to run x miles per week

• I want to grow my business this year

  • I’m going to gain x amount of clients per month

  • I’m going to increase our sales by x percent or x dollars per quarter

Can you see the difference between a vague goal and a specific one? Vague goals don’t mean anything so they’re next to impossible to complete. In addition to that if you don’t have a specific goal, there’s no way to create a roadmap to victory and if it isn’t specific you’ll never truly know when you reach it.

Rule Number Two - Choose ONE Goal and Focus on it

One of the biggest downfalls of New Years resolutions is that we tend to try to take on entirely too much at once. You’ve already defined your goal, but you probably understand that there’s a lot that goes into this goal. You’re going to have to make a lot of changes to your habits, and it can feel overwhelming to do this all at once.

A good example of this is losing weight. Now for the majority of the population this is going to involve two things: getting more active and changing your eating habits. Now what a lot of people do is go from 0-1000 overnight which leaves them lost, flustered and burned out pretty quickly. Instead of jumping into meal prepping and training 5 days per week, try to focus on doing something active every day, and being more mindful of what you’re putting into your mouth. This doesn’t have to all be structured training, it could be going for a walk or playing basketball with your buddies in addition to your 2-3 training sessions at the gym. With your eating habits, eliminate snacking or dedicate yourself to cooking dinner every night or eliminating take out/fast food throughout the day. These small changes will start the journey to your end goal, and you can build on them over time. Once you’ve gotten into a rhythm you can start adding in more structured training and even macro counting or more structured dieting. You’ll notice a more steady weight loss, which while isn’t as fun to post to the socials will give you steady motivation to continue! It’s incredibly hard to go from laying around all day and stuffing your face with garbage to being incredibly active and limiting your food intake. Be mindful of this when starting your journey.

The take home here is to try not to overwhelm yourself, you’re a beginner in this space and this is going to take small steps and practice. When’s the last time you picked up a new skill overnight? Probably never, remember that.

Rule Number 3 - Hire a Professional and/or Educate Yourself

You’re more than likely not going to be able to do this on your own, but sometimes finances and time are an issue so you’ll need to be educated on the topic if you decide not to hire a professional. We’ll go back to fitness since it’s in my wheelhouse. You’re going to have to research professionals in your area or dedicate yourself to gaining a better understanding of training/nutrition. With saving money it may be hiring a financial advisor or picking up books on saving and investing. With growing a business it may involve hiring a consulting firm or picking up books on CRM, SEO for the website or learning how to market in a more efficient way. Whatever your goal is, you’re more than likely not an expert in that field (or you’d already be doing it!) so you’re going to have to educate yourself and/or hire a professional to guide you through this process. A small investment of your time and money can pay DIVIDENDS down the road, do not overlook this step or you’ll be flying blind in uncharted skies.

Rule Number 4 - Create a Roadmap for Success

So now you’ve defined exactly what success means to you, but how do we get from point A to point B? This is going to take some time and effort, but understand that a goal without a plan is just a wish! So this roadmap is an important part of this journey, probably the most important part in all honesty. The old saying goes “you can wish in one hand and shit in the other and see which one fills up first”, and it’s true. Turn that wish into a goal with a concrete plan!

At this point you’ve either outsourced your planning to a professional or you’ve dedicated enough time to gain enough knowledge on the subject to become a winner in this space. Here’s some free advice: if you decide to hire a professional don’t for a second believe that your job is done, you’re still going to have to plan, have a contingency plan and a back up plan for your contingency plan. You’re still going to need to have a general understanding of what you’re throwing yourself into to be prepared for what’s to come.

While hiring out the expertise of this journey is a great thing (one less thing to worry about!) you’ve still got to be dedicated and disciplined enough to get through this process. Although you’ve hired professional help, you still need to create a plan to stay on track, and to increase your dedication/discipline to the plan. With deciding to lose weight this may be creating routines that take you away from food triggers, with drinking it may involve a plan to stay out of the bars or avoid certain people/situations, with saving it may be deciding to freeze or cut up your credit cards, etc. Just because you outsourced the expertise doesn’t mean that you don’t need to create a personal plan to stay on track! Stay disciplined and own this.

Rule Number 5 - STAY FOCUSED!

Focus focus focus. I can’t emphasize this enough. You made a decision to make a change because you KNEW it was important in the moment. Don’t get distracted by old habits, don’t give into temptations, FOCUS and stay the course.

Rule Number 6 - Understand That What Worked in the Beginning, Won’t Continue to Work Forever

Here’s a bit of advice that’s often overlooked and I’ll fall back on the fitness example again. What worked in the beginning won’t continue to work in perpetuity. Let’s say you started your journey at 200lbs with the goal of dropping to 140lbs in 2022. Early on the weight came off with what seemed like ease, but eventually you hit a plateau. The reason for this is now you weigh less, and it costs less energy to maintain your frame. If you were horribly out of shape going for a walk would burn a bunch of calories and leave you somewhat winded. Over time you’ve become more efficient as a human being and now it costs less energy to accomplish the same task and you weigh less which decreases the amount of effort it takes, double whammy. Things now have to change. What got you to 180lbs, won’t get you to 140lbs and this is where the education/hiring a professional comes into play. If you’ve done it right you should be able to make the necessary changes on the fly because you’re prepared! If not, chances are you’ll get frustrated and give up. Nip this in the bud and don’t let it even become an issue.

Rule Number 7 - Have a Good Support System

It should go without saying but a strong support system is incredibly important. If you don’t have people in your corner then your job just got substantially harder. What’s even worse are the toxic people around you who try to keep you down in an effort to make them feel better about the poor choices they make. They’re miserable and unwilling to change so they don’t want to see you succeed. That friend who says “it’s just one brunch, give in for Sunday Funday!” or “it’s just a couple drinks guy, come on out” is not someone you want in your corner. They’re going to derail you every chance they get. As sad as it is you’re going to have to, at least temporarily, leave these people behind.

When I got sober back in 2020, I had to make the decision to leave some of these people behind. There weren’t many, and to be honest I was floored by the amount of people who understood and stayed in my corner but there were still a few people who I needed to distance myself from. Sometimes new habits require new friends, as sad as that is. You’re going to have to set boundaries, and stick to them! Be ready to stand strong and firm in your decision to change your life when it comes to those who want to drag you down, you won’t regret it.

On the flip side of this coin, you’re going to need people dedicated to you in your corner. There’s a reason people in NA and AA have sponsors and it’s not only for accountability, but because life changing journeys require support systems. This process is hard enough, you’re going to need more noise from your cheering section, and less noise from the peanut gallery.

To Wrap This All Up

To be successful you’re going to need:

• A narrowly defined goal

• Professional help/Education on the topic

• A focused roadmap to your end goal

• FOCUS

• Understanding of how to pivot when needed

• A strong support system

These are all non-negotiables if you want to be successful. Have a plan, stick to it, pivot when needed and you’ll have success!